Girlhood x Young adulthood

I feel like weeping now. So overwhelmed. That's what scares me. Music. To tell you the truth, I don't really listen to songs like most of the time, since I spend most of the time alone. I just listen to them most when I'm in the car, driving and whenever I discover new songs which I put on repeat mode. Bad habit I know. The thing with music is, it always hits me hard. It hits me even harder when I play songs from my old days. On account of, it plays such a big role in me, secretly. Much influenced by my abang since I was small. I have this abang who devoted much of his efforts to music. Yea he was in a band. Watching him, I kinda fell into it too. This abang of mine stuffed a lot about music in my head. I remember one time, eagerly how he taught me how to differentiate drumbeats to know what genre it is. You know that kinda stuff. It's good to have someone with heaps of passion around. Cause you're gonna gain a lot too. Gigs, Chuck Taylor, Grunge, Kurt Donald Cobain, all remind me of him. Back during my vulnerable years, when stupid family drama arose, he was away. I had no one to turn to, but music that he left for me. Oodles of things have changed since then. Even the underground scene has gone mainstream too. I guess everyone chose to grow up. Still, am trying hard to adapt with the present. And it's not fun to gulp back the sobs when this kinda feeling strikes.